things nigerian mothers do

There are some situations with our parents that later get made into memes, skits, and the likes, but for those who know, who understand, many of those events are not so funny when you get caught in the live-action.

Their use of sarcasm? Spot on

When you tell her you need something outrageously expensive and the reply is “Let’s go to the market now, I’m sure we can still get a good price for me”

Or this very popular one. When you ask where to put something, an errand that she herself sent you and she be like “put it on my head”

Really? I’m sure just pointing would do.

When they tell you do something indirectly under the guise of telling you that it’s up to you; “If you like clean it, if you like don’t” Charlie, it’s a trap, don’t fall for it.

Eye language

This doesn’t apply only to the kiddie stage, it’s always there. Eye language signifies to you not to do something, if you still go ahead then of course the eye language will communicate to you that you’re in for it.

When you’re grown and for example, you’re about to gist and catch up with a distant relative or an old friend and they signal to you with the strongest freuency of their eye signal not to spill a single thing. Paronia much?

Family meetings

This one has got to be the most annoying.

When you’ve done something they do not like and they convene an impromptu virtual or physical family meeting, while going ahead to exaggerate the facts. Why exaggerate, is the “offense” not enough to incriminate me? The funny aspect is that calling this meeting does not guarantee any changes, it increases the likelihood of rebelling.

One more thing, these people they report to (mostly your siblings, elder cousins or aunts and uncles) have probably done something like this before. Don’t worry though, once you’re out of the house you most likely will graduate to the jury stage too.

Mannerisms for tough situations

This one can do your head in and frustrate you so much if you’re not careful. I just think they like to get a rise out of us. When she’s angry at you, scolding you and you are just quiet without saying anything; wow so your mother is scolding you and you’re just giving her the cold shoulder, do you have another mother?

OR she’s scolding you and then you talk back; Oh, it’s clear already, you have another mother and you’re ready to relocate. For situations like this, just pray to your creator and proceed as the spirit leads.

Guilt Tripping

The oldest trick in the book, and it works too, unless you’re very smart of course. Nigerian mothers are the travel agents for guilt trips. This is where you hear lines like;

“honour your father and mother”

“I suffered so much over my children”

“during our own days…..”

“I know I trained you, you’re the one that won’t listen”

When all this is over and done with, it’s impossible not to look back and smile, smile at those times when it was you on the hot seat and smiling was not possible. I am this amazing human being because I have a queen of my own, who gives me so much drama and today is her birthday. (Well, the date of this post is her birthday 28/8)

Mom, happy birthday. I cannot equal you in determination and resilience neither can I equal your lengths of sacrifice. But know that I will always adore and cherish you as long as I shall live because you are extraordinary in every way

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